Fire Dreams

by Crissy Bell

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06:06
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06:23
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03:51
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05:22
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06:07
8.
04:33

about

Written, performed and recorded by Crissy Bell in 2015.

credits

released December 21, 2015

All songs by Crissy Bell 2015

Thank you:
Bea Luz
Finley Coyl
Nomy Lamm
Yoko OK
Thel Seraphim
Regrette Et Cetera
Sybil Lamb
all trans women
and many others <3

Influential Acknowledgements:
Scott Walker (the singer)
Diamanda Galas
Billy Childish
Prince
Davey Graham
Billy Bragg
Cocteau Twins
Sister Sledge
...and many others

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CRISSY BELL San Francisco, California

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Track Name: Dawn
just as it seems
when you cannot remember
a star shines unseen
across the white darkness
a cold passive wind
doesn’t whisper like it used to
the more you fell in
the more you dissected

who’s out walking in the city at dawn?
scaling the spine like the cold tips of fingers
the blessed can see but its small consolation
when a cut on the cheek is all you amount to
oh yeah

my head swam with horses
my eyes were full of needles
if i die tonight remember
i swung out from my center
i raise my arms to greet you
you were my golden sun
whatever can be done

a silver relief
what i’ve known by touch ’til now
exalt what be briefly beheld by its virtue
a crack of pane shifts
and it pays when i hurt you
in quiet strangulation
i don’t wanna be so cold

all cried a scene
i pretend i could tell you
and the more you fell in the more you got used too
a star shines unseen across the white darkness
and the hillsides turnabout i don’t wanna be so cold

the lens pulls free and was struck by the sharpness
it’s just my conceit pulling eyespots from the darkness
a cranial seed
a mercator projection
whatever is seen becomes your possession

you climb upon cinders
the flesh now beneath you now
up ahead were standing
a party of pretenders
they know you much better
and they’ll take your life away
and in silent negation
i don’t wanna be so cold

just as it seems when you cannot remember
a star shines unseen across the white darkness
a cold passive wind that won’t ever give in
and i just can’t wait around here for you
Track Name: Used Piece of Trash
Like a used piece of trash
I remember every hand I've been through
and I know you well
there's one drop of you
deep down in my well

Like a used car
I'm a lemon, but my body is true
and I know you well
there's one drop of you
leaving traces that turn away and

all things set aside
it wasn't really so bad
sleep came and rescued me
but I awoke sometimes next to you and
please be a dream
that the soul can escape
but you've already told me so much

Like a ray of light
I see through you leaning just out of site
and I feel so wide
there's one blade of you
to crawl down my side

Like a sweet blade of grass
I'm september, all you can think is to hide
and I can't think of no better time
to move into position
as the scenery rolls away and

Please be a joke
it was hard to say no
just stared out the window
you woke something in me and
it felt like the dawn
after long nights on steel
was a state I lamented
but broke down without
please give me just one more drop of rain
Track Name: The Soloist
“this angel has no memory”
spotlight breaks the stage
who takes this mantle up and away
a prize fighter stands upright
convictions my skeleton
thrust in hand like a soldier

they think they got something on me
but i think i know something about you

isolation
throws it’s arms around you
anything
disentangled
relative shift
this radiant child
bathes in the water high on
skeletons
and a trace of time when
we were young and disinjunctured
my spirit awoke
doing the same old thing

this angel couldn’t care less
Antigone travels time
entwined in the crime of the century
a loose knit band of burned out dreams
and here this flag is planted

They think they got something on you
but I think i know something about you

A graceful wind
got its hands around you
disappointed
disentangled
a relative cage
empirical pinhole camera raw ion
skeletons and a trace of a time when
we were young and the wind would whisper
when you wanted it to
that nothing ever changes
and I’m telling you
Track Name: NA
Room to the left and it falls into view
And seduces all who engage it
To twist the end against itself
Behind the back like a rainbow

The edge of my vision occults the intent
The voices arrange in non-precedent
Just veins and dust like an occular flare
A malformed structure docks at port

Everything was so simple then
Did I get high enough to feel love? Oh well
Clawing in situ at roses and rubber
A child forgets her estrangement

But I was a stranger among them
Don't bite your tits at the table
A trespasser bound by an honor unknown
And taking the light by force to the ground

You wanted to put his balls in a vice
But you let him get away with it twice
Clawing in situ at roses and rubber
She cannot excite her containment

(The song "NA" is dedicated to Nina Arsenault, Narcotics Anonymous, and non-applicability)
Track Name: The Only Distance
Longing to grow old
deep inside the day
I'll find you
when the willow sways
where we used to play
a lover were you like
though I never told
about the way you used to hold
me against your breast

and I don't think about it much day to day
so I leave a space inside my head
and the only distance between
your heart and my heart
is a word that must remain unsaid

7:53
haven't slept a wink
the sun is laying down on me
like a spot of ink
a lover were you like
though I never told about the
way you used to hold
me against your breast

and I never listen
and I never write
and I think about you every night
until the darkness washes over me
your face is all I see

Oh your love
taught me to be sweet
your patience taught me to be kind
and the only difference between
your heart and my heart
is a word that cannot be defined
Track Name: The Choir
we undone lift these prayers
an echo traces a face
and we lift our eyes
to the shining beast
the beast heads west
no stopping now
not words nor staff nor suicide
will undermine your fear stood upright
and made to walk, fight and fly

the emphasis was your own
i can’t attempt to walk all these passages alone
it’s like this everywhere
a motorhead dynasty
you capsize in your mind at anything more than fantasy
like the fool in a drama comedy suicide

erase the past
with merchant eyes
no need for magic
when you’ve got the choir lifting you up high
i’ve wasted all my weighted life

the emphasis was your own
i can’t attempt to speak these passages alone
it’s like this everywhere
but you caught the edge of an eye
and tore the hole open and ripped into the night
like a tempest in drama comedy just like life
a burning incision
don’t give up the fight
all the pretty flowers
so do what is right

and they’re waiting
yes they're waiting
Track Name: Fire Dream
and who should appear outside
this fire dream
but your pulsing shadow
and i just slowly quake
and who would have guessed all this while
you felt the same
oh well or so they say

there were so many times
that i wondered about you
i wondered about you
all these bad dreams
they just burst inside you
and climb so high
like walls around you

there were so many times
that i wondered about you
i wondered about you
all these bad dreams
they whisper to you
like tall grass
by the full moon