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Weakness

by Crissy Bell

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1.
Leading Man 03:08
There was one thing left for me to say to you it’s that I understand Mama sometimes you have to take a man by his hand and give him a baby and be his mother We were crazy to think there was anything else So one two, buckle my shoe three four, don’t wanna hurt anymore and everything that you said is in the back of my head waiting for a chance to get out but something’s tripping me up And it’s been a long time since the feeling was untied to a happiness bled from a leading man (Horn solo) So hold me Daddy in a loving way ‘cause there’s such as thing as too much fun yeah (Horn solo) And it’s been a long time since the feeling was untied to the happiness bled from a leading man Been a long time since the feeling was untied to the happiness bled from a leading man
2.
There I was looking for something else high were the marks we sought it was a leap of faith I felt like passing out there was no fascination left but it felt good to get out and push my flesh against this vital ghost of a chance no I can’t host but I’ll dance away the doubt For a little love (for sake of argument) talking to the driver about love the pictures of his kids come out his doting wife at home he cranes his head around and says: “What’s your name?” This dress was made for someone else fine were the lines and cuts but the bones of love were hard to choke out head full of blood but I digress I think you’re sexy, big, and quite a man I feel this, I swear so much time gets lost on being correct For a little love (for sake of arguement) talking to some guy about the rents he lays down on his back and says: “Have your way with me” he lifts his head to say, “Baby, you’ve got it made.” Well it’s too little too late too little too late… it’s a hard pill to swallow
3.
Made Up 04:12
When the ghosts arrive is it any surprise? You can’t stand on nothing but you can try so if you care enough not to fuck it up you know it takes a sucker If you can be happy in a story then you’re in luck ‘cause isn’t love just something that we make up Darkness and doom are coming soon it’s not a paid postion but it’s opportune so gather up the fates lay them straight beset with idle visions We could’ve changed the course of history but we were stuck ‘cause isn’t love just something that we make up When the seasons change it’s gonna be strange you’re gonna find your face rearranged so when the fates agree go with option D it was driving me crazy And I wasn’t happy in a story so I got in the truck ‘cause isn’t love just something that we make up
4.
Sweetness 05:18
You better not forget all I’ve done for you I’m gonna take it hard when you see through It doesn’t mean it doesn’t mean a thing you find it hard to find, I find you hard to take Everything you do is just for sweetness Why don’t you tell me what it’s all about If we’re playing games I’m gonna find out You’ve got a whole life out there without me What do you tell yourself about me Everything you do is just for sweetness Honey, only a fool could pick and choose you tell your Daddy he’s a fool to lose your love like that Your highschool friends really took it out of me and gave their respects to the academy and laid to rest my anatomy and each on said he wouldn’t lie to me But we’re beyond the point of no return Please don’t bring it up please don’t say a word This has to be more than just a sugar high My heart is racing I wish you were mine Everything you do is just for sweetness He steps outta line to confuse you tell your Daddy he’s a fool to lose your love like that Not looking to buy just peruse you and in platitudes reduce your love like that
5.
Stay With Me 05:05
First you can’t love then you can’t pretend you know you really can’t live on scraps again you’re hitting your limit ‘cause there’s a price for you Put it in the book with your common friends find the end of the thread where your life begins the image on image did not suffice for you We were driven from the past where lovers are cryin’ it was written on their faces like the passage of time yeah It’s kind of a two-sided problem you have it once you gotta get it again like fucking around is one thing but giving up the safety of your damage you manage but when you rake me over the coals like that I’m like a bat flying over mountains never thinking ‘bout the last time We were driven from the past where lovers are cryin’ it was written on their faces like the passage of time yeah So what are you supposed to offer the man who has everything but momentary bliss And when at last I found you I put my little heart around you you were blowing me a kiss So go talk to payroll you better put your money in a barrel his princely heart went stale when all the release became an appointment I’ve got no merits that don’t rely on carrots held before the masters where all the release became dissappointment Go with me stay with me row with me play with me run with me prey with me choke with me
6.
California 04:57
If it’s your first time you might surprise yourself with what you can do heaven knows is gonna find you out And if it’s your first time you might decide that it’s not for you honey that make two of us So what does that mean to this the victor can’t lie anymore what does that mean for us you can’t afford to lose yourself to all the leather surprise yourself and scare your mother explain yourself to every other your beginning to end I know you’re some kind of connisseiur you’ve seen it all before I’m sure there’s lots you’ve got to tell me about You may be surprised to find that I’m a simple girl with simple needs I just don’t know what all the talk is about So what does that mean to this the victor can’t lie anymore what does that mean for us In California lose yourself to all the leather surprise yourself and kill your mother explain yourself to every other you’re beginning to end
7.
Acting 03:10
there’s no answer there in the design there’s no logic to it to define when you step on my heart i’m no one to deny that it gets me there everytime but there’s a part of you made of tenderness i have seen it for myself so here you come indecently i was acting like i was lost without your love tell me stuff and run around i was acting like i was lost without your love i love it when i must gain your affection telling myself i was lost without your love so maybe it’s too soon to mention but the pain’s ok when im lost in your loving arms don’t wait don’t delay when you get enough take me away that small part of you made of tenderness it just takes my panties down slow it’s that part of you i could see it too you don’t show nobody else no fire up the ekg man i seen a ghost i was lost without your love wire up the yyz man aim for my head i was lost without your love i love it when i must win your affection tell me again I was lost without your love maybe it’s to soon to mention when you treat me like this i was lost without your love
8.
Back on the ground notable repartee don’t fail me now, I’m in a state of economy stick the land two seconds late there were figments of your face through churchill downs and your silly voice drowning out these silly clowns what was the story? what is its value? coming around to a new sense of place pack and leave town don’t forget everything you love don’t hang around I was thought of as authority in my domain I was skin-and-bones-happy as my heart palpitates there’s no comedy, just a girl with big idee-ers out in the palm trees, you’ll find me there it was an illusion* it was an illusion* for a new sense of place out in the palm trees it was an illusion* but hey, what’s the difference, Daddy?
9.
Weakness 02:40
I was stronger than the waters I was bred into I was smarter than the martyrs and the passions too and yet you let yourself in without meaning to I got a weakness to you no matter what you do I belong to you I do i got a weakness to you if you only knew what you could really do I do I was planning positions everyday or two I was kissing the pavement ‘cause it felt like you I was working everybody who was asking to I got a weakness to you you can really do what you want to do it’s true i got a weakness to you i wonder, who asked you to make me such a fool I do Every emotion I’ve been through Passionate patience I was turning blue I could really spend a long time waiting for you to get a clue I got a weakness to you there’s nothing I can do I belong to you I do Yeah my weakness is you Baby you can do whatever you want to it’s true You can throw me away I’ll be begging you You can wrap me in lace And satin too It’s like you don’t even care Who you’re talking to I got a weakness to you No matter what you do I belong to you I do

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Dedicated to Mom

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released November 16, 2019

Written, performed, and recorded at home by Crissy Bell 2017 - 2019

Tracks 1, 2, 3, 5, 6, 8, 9 Mixed and Mastered by Jonah Strauss of Survivor Sound
Tracks 4 and 7 Mixed by Jonah Strauss and Mastered by Jonah Strauss and Crissy Bell

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Crissy Bell New York

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"Weakness"

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